What's with the summer picture, you might very well ask. But let me ask you this. Do you ever think to yourself one moment or another, ' This, right here, this feeling that I have right now, this I want to remember' ? And do you, remember? Last summer, I was driving home with the Daughter from an evening spent at the beach, riverside. The air sat heavy, the car windows open, I could smell barbecues, wood heating saunas. See the lush green of the grass, the birch tree leaves. On the back seat the Daughter was sitting quietly, her cheeks flushed, her hair in wet tangles. Little Happy Miracle wrapped in a huge fluffy towel. Barefoot. Legs still covered in sand. Not minding at all. Summer. Me in the front seat, left arm hanging out of the window. Barefoot. Still in my bathing suit, with just a thin, gauzy linen tunic thrown over it. Not caring one whit if somebody thought my legs were too thick, my calves too white. The feeling of the warmth of the sun erasing anything but that single moment from my mind. The road in front of us. The happiness between us. On our way to home. And I thought, ' This, right here, this I want to remember'. And today, just now, I did. I can hear the wind howling outside, it's cold, it's dark, and this is what I remembered. Somebody said that we don't remember days, we remember moments. Indeed.
The Daughter's Feet.
Today, I went ice-skating. I know, you might also very well ask if I have, finally, gone officially insane. Not so though, I only skated for about a quarter of an hour and changed into my trekking boots as soon as my ankles started crying. And they seem to be fine now. So maybe I'll take another spin tomorrow. Not that I will be jumping and pirouetting any time soon, but it was a fantastic feeling to be able to move your body, to at least attempt to make it follow your commands to create those beautiful curves and spirals on the ice. And this was followed by some playground time with the Daughter, until my suggestion of some hot chocolate and marshmallows was answered with a resounding ' Yes Mommy!' continued with 'And then we sit on the sofa, and we take your blankie and you get one end and I get another and we eat cookies and watch whatever I want to watch'. Fine by me, darling. Which is exactly what we did.
Heart from my Heart,
We took a 'home day' today, both for her, from her kindergarten, and for me, from whatever I was supposed to be doing today. Started the day lazing around in bed. Playing ants. My fingers being the ants and her hands being a catapult that threw the ants into space only to land in a tickling mass on her belly. Loooots of tickling and laughter. Watching old Peter Pan and Tinkerbell film. And she says '' I want to bake, Mommy'. Which is what we did. Sugar cookies in the shape of hearts and flowers, raspberry jam in the middle. Spaghetti for lunch. Eaten on the sofa. Oooh, we were such two lazy little mice. Made a huge princess and castle puzzle on the floor of her room, on top of which she decided to dance because according to her that put her dancing in the castle itself.
Now she is sleeping. Two duvets. Two dolls. Numerous pillows that she spreads all over the bed. A stack of children's books on her nightstand and a ladybug nightlight glowing dimly next to her bed. When she wakes up, she will grab the ladybug, and it will light her way as a torch for her to come to my room and climb in my bed, asking me if it is already morning. She is my miracle. She is the single most precious, most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I am so proud to be able to call myself her Mom.
You Will Find Your Way.
I am still very tired. Next week, I'm heading to Dublin, Ireland, for the Valentines. For a decidedly un-Valentine Valentine though it shall be. Two old-time Girlies sifting through the vintage wares of the city, in search of the perfect pin-up dress for my Friend, with an occasional cake cafe thrown in. For me, books. And more books. And if a lovely marcasite brooch should happen to find its way to my vicinity, well, welcome home, little one.
And this is something I've been wanting to do a long time...
Things That Make Me Happy
...even in Puddles